okay NO JUST NO.

Based on the cliche categories, vague explanations, and contextually limited examples, I’m going to guess the author wasn’t thinking too hard when they wrote this. The references to a school environment as well as the level of writing ability gives the impression of early teens, probably around 12-14, and the closing statement exhibits a primarily masculine viewpoint (“if your girl has all of [these traits], you are lucky”). On top of that, the lack of contractions is characteristic of an early approach to writing essays intended to sound professional or informative. This fall-back style becomes especially prominent when the writer has flimsy or poorly-presented arguments, or when they have a weak understanding of their own reasoning.
In short, it’s a safe guess that the author of this article is a young male trying to give the impression of intelligence as he presents arguments drawn from his peers (male and female, judging from the age group). He believes these arguments wholeheartedly, but it’s clear he has trouble giving them much weight or clarity. Therefore, this article does less to make its intended point than it does to expose the influences felt by middle schoolers.